Alzheimer’s Notes

My Last Christmas With Mother in Alzheimer’s Mode

by Mary Emma Allen on December 25th, 2007

       Mother’s last eight Christmas holidays were spent at the nursing home, which had become her home.  In the earlier days, my family and I attended the Christmas and New Year’s parties there and brought Mother to the activity room for fun and refreshments.  As she began to lose the reality of which day was Christmas, we visited her before or after but often spent Christmas Day with family who might live elsewhere.

If I were home, I did stop by the nursing home in the afternoon to share a gift and visit.  The last Christmas, Mother was unresponsive  and others might wonder why I bothered. 

However, I’m so glad now I took the time to sit by her side in a rocking chair, chat about Christmas in days gone by at our family farm, and read to her Christmas cards sent by family and friends.  Mother occasionally smiled but otherwise didn’t respond.

I saw Mother after that, for occasional visits.  However, on January 27, almost a month after Christmas, I was on a business trip and received the call that Mother had passed away quietly in her sleep.

I often think of that last visit on Christmas Day.  Did Mother know I was there?  Did she hear me?  Was she aware of the memories and cards I shared with her?

I don’t know.  But I like to think, that if she was able to have a momentary glimmer of reality, she knew I was sharing Christmas with her.

(c)2007 Mary Emma Allen 

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POSTED IN: Alzheimer's/Caregivers, Alzheimer's/Family History, Alzheimer's/Inspiration-Encouragment, Alzheimer's/Memories